Hello all, I am Sailor Linkin Park. My real name is Lesley, but shh! Nobody's supposed to know that. I am the only Sailor Scout that lives in the United States!! Did you know that? I know, I found it hard to believe too. My little friend Chester here told me all about it. Chester is the Cat in the picture at the left. He doesn't look like that now though. He's REALLY tiny and a bit, uh, rounder.. Come to think of it, he looks kind of like a hampster... He told me that he was just walking around one day, and someone put down a bowl of tuna on the ground for him to eat. He went to go eat, and then he was zapped into some sort of ball. Then he said a few minutes later, he was zapped out of the ball, and then somehow took the shape of that ball.. The people that zapped him in the ball wrote down some notes and then zapped him back in the ball. He said the next thing he remembered was me zapping him out of the ball.
    I found the ball walking home from school one day.. The ball looked like a pokeball (you know, from Pokemon) and I thought some poor little kid lost his pokeball.. I picked it up and took it home. (Finders keepers!!) I got bored that night and played around with it, and I acted like that kid in the show Pokemon and i threw the ball and shouted "Pikachu!! Go!!" and out popped what I thought was a squished cat stuffed animal... That is, untill the stuffed animal started talking. He said something about how I was the chosen one and how I was basically the Sailor Scout of the United States because all of the other Sailor Scouts are in Japan. The other Scouts don't really even know I exist! I wonder what they would do if they found out about me.. Oh well, like that's going to happen. Chester told me that back on the moon, he didn't get along real well with Luna and Artemis, so he asked Queen Serenity that we be reborn in another part of Earth so that he didn't have to deal with them. (My guess is that Chester had a crush on Luna, but she loved Artemis, which totally pissed off Chester, but he says thats not the case. I think he's lying though. ^.~)
    Anyways, he told me that since all of the other Scouts are in Japan, I'm all by myself here fighting the evil dudes. That part kinda sucks cuz I'm not quite as powerful as the other Scouts.. From what I've seen on TV they're much more powerful than me. You would be suprised, but that cartoon Sailor Moon is actually an animated version of the REAL Scouts in Japan. Don't believe me if you want to be that way, but it's true!! Sailor Scouts actually do exist in Japan!! And now in the United States too. At least, right now it's just me as the only Sailor Scout in the US, but it's okay. I manage. I have some pretty cool attacks that come in useful, so that's good. For instance, I have my cheez-it attack. If people piss me off when I'm not in my Sailor form, I throw cheez-its at them. But when I'm in my Sailor Form, they aren't ordinary cheez-its. They look like regular cheez-its on the outside, but they're actually razor-sharp, and give those smart-asses who eat them really bad indegestion. Haha, it's pretty funny to watch. Let me see, what else is there.. There's my boy-group torture attack, where I stick some earplugs in my ears so I'm unaffected, and I make a random boy group appear and they sing and dance to torture the enemy or whoever's listening. The only problem is that teeny-boppers aren't affected.. which really sucks, but it's still a pretty useful attack cuz the enemy's ears eventually explode if the boy group goes on long enough. That's the funny part. I also have a healing power, I use my wand for that.. Actually I haven't used it quite yet, but Chester Says it's very useful and powerful. Somehow I don't quite believe him.. You see, my wand is a banana tied onto a stick that supposedly is like the Crescant Moon Wand. Chester said that when I want to use it, I yell "LP Healing Power!!" and the banana, err, wand will have beams of light come out of it and heal or revive whoever the beams touch. He said to be careful with that though because it can have healing effects on the enemy too, which would be totally bad if I just spent a half hour trying to kill an enemy and the wand heals them. That would suck.
    I also have a lot of other abilities besides my special attacks.. I can turn myself invisible (which is nice if someone's looking for me.. or if I wanna sneak into someplace I'm not supposed to be ^.~ hehehe..). See those goggles on my face in that picture of me at the top? No, those aren't glasses!!! They're special goggles! I push a little button on the side and I can track anyone I think of. I can fly too!! That's a fun ability. I can pull ANYTHING out of mid-air. Umm, I have super strength, which means I can kick someone's ass without any special weapons!! Mwahahahahha.. I have mind control, err, at least Chester told me that I do. I haven't quite figured out how to work it yet though. I have super speed, but it only works if there's a chase involved. I don't even run unless I'm being chased or chasing someone, so I guess that's good. I can't run lightening fast though, just faster than any average person. I'm really good at distracting people!! Hahaha, that's fun.. The problem is that I'm also pretty easily distracted.. Like if I see a famous person (haha, yeah right.. if only) or if I see someone wearing an anime or band shirt, I just HAVE to see what anime or band it is.. I don't know why, but I do. When I'm in my Sailor form, I also have really strong senses.. Like I can hear anything within a half-mile radius of where I am, and I can see really well and all that. (Not to mention I can taste the difference between Sprite and 7-up! I know you wish YOU could do that!! lol..)
    Well, I'll bet you're pretty tired of reading about me (I know I'm tired of talking about me) so I will give your eyes a rest. Just remember this: I am Sailor Linkin Park!! And in the name of Linkin Park, I will right wrongs and triumph over evil... and that means anyone who pisses me off or causes some major trouble!! So BEWARE!!! Hahahahhahhahahahaha....
                                -Sailor Linkin Park

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